for goodness sake! i really can't believe what happened on my dream last night. no single track of him! just him! my previous him. gaaad. why does he need to be there? i didn't even bother to think of him before i sleep. well, just a bit because of what i had seen on his shoutout. but most of my mind is only focusing on one person. and that's the present. yea. my mind. my heart? well. i really don't know yet. ö

but whyyy!??? nakaka'iyak naman oh. tsk. in my dream, i was the one leaving. and not him. but in reality, he should be the one. leaving the country. arrrggg! i really dunno what to say right now. all i want is to let this go. am i really over him???? amf. i guess not really. i still love him. well. as they say. love doesn't fade away. it leaves your heart even just a single track of it. a heartache. pain. memories. no matter how much you deny it. oh, shut up myself! i really can't take this. :|

T.T back to my dream. as i said, i was the one leaving. i dunno what's happening back there. but there's a scene that i've forgot my jacket and i have to go back and get it. it's really weird. we're in school and i'm with my mom. after i got my jacket, i hurriedly went were he was which is on the garden set. rushing to him while putting my jacket on. tsk. and when i reached his place. i stood there for a moment. waiting for him to do something. after some glance, he also stood up. and there we hugged each other. arrrrggg! this is the scene where my tears really want to come down. oh, please stop! my heart is pumping really hard. beating so fast that the cold weather is also baring with me. tsk.

we hugged for a moment. and there i left. i opened my eyes. and thought of it was just a dream. a sign that i must really let go of him. right? but how? please help me...

i really can't take this anymore. i want someone. someone new. whom i really WANT. :(